If I haven't already convinced you that I'm a bit of a loon, then this chart that I made last night should seal the deal.
While driving to dinner last night, Ben and I had our second (yes, second) disagreement in about a month about the progression of Biffs throughout the three Back to the Future movies.
The debate starts innocently enough with a question:
Mena: Which Biff is your favorite Biff?
Ben: Haven't you asked me this before?
Mena: Yeah, just answer -- I forgot.
Ben: Fine... Biffco Biff is the Best Biff.
Mena: Oh, that's so wrong. Old Biff kicks ass.
And then, Ben has to point out that Old Biff is too bitter and that he shouldn't be since he's really the older version of auto-detailing Biff -- a Biff who has lost all dignity and now services the McFly's cars.
To which I retort, "Old Biff is bitter because he had to detail the McFly's car. Just because Auto-detailing Biff is all clueless and lacking a spine at the end of BTTF II doesn't mean he's still not a jerk. Wash Marty's pick-up for thirty years and see how bitter you become."
It's as clear as day.
And the chart?
Well, when you're a major procrastinator and have a house to pack, you have different priorities.
So which Biff is your favorite Biff?
Oh, please. Old Biff is a jerk - remember how he gets when he first sees a flying DeLorean in 2015? I'm pretty sure he contains his jerkiness behind a container of buttkissing to the presence of McFlys, and ONLY the McFlys.
I have no favorite Biff. I like Marty.
[I'll have to pull out the diagram my friend Greg and I made detailing the various timelines of BTTF. That's quality web content.]
Posted by: Paul | February 21, 2002 at 03:14 PM
Saying you like Marty is taking the easy way out :)
Perhaps you just have to be a kind soul like myself to see the pain in Biff's eyes.
Posted by: Mena | February 21, 2002 at 03:29 PM
"the pain in Biff's eyes"
The actor who played Biff & the cartoonist who draws Ziggy share the same name. Draw your own conclusions. "Oh, Ziggy. Will you ever win?"
Posted by: Jeff | February 21, 2002 at 04:11 PM
You're right, that chart seals the deal!
Very nice work, tho.... :)
Posted by: jwes | February 21, 2002 at 06:03 PM
Yes, young Biff is my favourite.. Biff from 1955, that is. Most other Biffs scare me, especially Biff from the scary 1985 (the one with the hotel). I don't know how I found this site, but WOW, I love it... and I cant' believe you have some BTTF content the day I visit. That's my MOST favourite movie in the world (well, the entire trilogy, anyway). Great site... keep it up. and of course, "what the hell is a jiggowatt?"!
Posted by: Lindsay | February 21, 2002 at 07:00 PM
alright, that's it: the judy garland paper dolls plus that chart make you the person on earth that i most want to be. [i'll start finding more things to do this very morning, don't worry.]
Posted by: sakana | February 22, 2002 at 03:16 AM
I enjoy Biffness as a whole an entire entity. He's like Randal Flag. He doesn't change, but his incarnations differ with the times.
Posted by: Phillip Harrington | February 22, 2002 at 06:50 AM
great scott.
Posted by: Billy | February 22, 2002 at 10:44 AM
auto detailing biff just LOOKS funny so I'd have to go with him just based on that. :)
Posted by: liz | February 22, 2002 at 11:24 AM
Old Biff as he would've actually been under George McFly's thumb for sixty years (1955-2015), not thirty, making him a rather pitiful lump of coal. Far beyond bitter, I'd say.
I'm kinda partial to Mad Dog myself. Not as enterprising as Biffco Biff (even though he did have to find time in his busy schedule to deal with Marty) but far more the rugged and outdoors type.
And who couldn't admire a person who doesn't know the meaning of the word forfeit?
Marty: "Hey, lighten up, jerk!"
Mad Dog: "Mighty strong words, runt! You man enough to back that up with more than just a pie plate?!"
Posted by: Robert | February 22, 2002 at 11:28 AM
The Biff chart! Mena is my hero now. When you get to the Richmond, I'll buy you a drink.
Posted by: Cindy | February 22, 2002 at 12:00 PM
I do not have a favorite Biff, but I will say that I derived many hours of enjoyment from the BTTF video game =)
Posted by: Christine | February 22, 2002 at 02:51 PM
who cares? that's the power of love.
Posted by: davey jones | February 22, 2002 at 03:37 PM
I believe it's safe to assume that we are all fans of this classic movie trilogy here. Just wanted to let everyone know that there is a website dedicated to the upcoming DVDs (http://www.bttfmovie.com). Unfortunately, it doesn't say when exactly they're coming out. Soon I hope...
I hope one of the special features on the DVD will be a commentary explaining why you throw bowling balls as your weapon on the old BTTF Nintendo game. Never quite made that connection to the movie...
Posted by: Josh | February 22, 2002 at 05:23 PM
For some reason this made me think of the hoodoo routine between Myrna Loy and Cary Grant from The Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer:
You remind me of a man.
What man?
The man with the power.
What power?
The power of hoodoo.
Hoodoo?
You do.
Remind me of a man.
What man? (ad infinitum)
Listen to it here: http://www.hep.umn.edu/~jenny/CG/Hoodoo.AIFF
Posted by: chris | February 22, 2002 at 06:39 PM
Definitly Griff Tannen...granted he is a jerkface (just like all of the Biff relations...) but he is the hottest!
Posted by: Michie | February 22, 2002 at 08:35 PM
Definitly Griff Tannen...granted he is a jerkface (just like all of the Biff relations...) but he is the hottest!
Posted by: Michie | February 22, 2002 at 08:35 PM
1955 Biff.
All the way.
He's as dumb as a post and he don't care.
Of course, old Biff did hit people randomly...
Posted by: googol | February 23, 2002 at 06:41 PM
I have to go with scary rich 1985 Biff. While I agree with Ryan that your 1955 Biff is pretty cool, the 1985 rich Biff is basically that Biff taken to another level. Instead of porn, he sits in a jacuzzi with a bevy of bimbos, while he still retains the qualities of being cruel and stupid . Plus he appears in the best film of the three and has the best hair.
Old future Biff reminds me of Norman Mailer and is about as likeable.
Posted by: matt | February 24, 2002 at 10:26 AM
I can't even remember! But now I must go watch all of the BTTF movies. ;-)
Posted by: Jenni | February 24, 2002 at 10:40 AM
I did a little further thinking on this last night and I'd like to elaborate further why Biffco Biff is better than 1955 Biff. 1955 Biff is pretty cool, as Ryan has stated, and were he destined to follow a normal life, would be somewhere near the peak of his coolness and virility, before the realities of work and taxes inevitably wear away at his inner state of biffness. But the sports almanac allows Biff to reach new heights - freed from the daily grind of day to day life, Biff is free to devote time and money to being the coolest, meanest, cruelest Biff in existence.
Posted by: matt | February 25, 2002 at 03:00 AM
Come on people, old biff was the best. He's the only good thing in the worst episode ever.
Excellent Biff Chart, reminds me of classic time travel arguments with friends from the past.
Posted by: Jon | February 26, 2002 at 06:14 AM
1955.......I love the fact that in 1955 he got his lights punched out by Mcfly...that was SWEEEET!!!
Posted by: Tom | February 26, 2002 at 10:51 PM
I would have to agree that the 1955 Biff is my favorite. I really like the whipped Biff in the second 1985, because you know he desrves it. But, all in all no one has the classic Biff flare like the Biff from the good ol'1955.
Posted by: Bill III | December 30, 2002 at 09:22 AM
i need a picture of the scene where biff shows marty his "new business cards for my auto detailing " i believe that's in the second movie I have a real detailing business called biff auto detailing and i'd like to put that wav file or clip on my site when it's up and running if yal could, please email me with the stuff okay you little runt!
Posted by: aron | June 12, 2003 at 06:49 PM